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*The views of the Splatterpunk are strictly his own and not the ones any rational person would have. So blame Saw 4 and the Nightly News if your neighbor or kids take a power drill to you.

The role of Jeffrey in David Lynch's BLUE VELVET was originally offered to an actor who turned it down because he described the movie as 'pornography'. What was the actor's name?

"Does that look like someone who's about to come knocking on your door?"

Who said it? Was it…

Ben Mears in 'Salem's Lot (2004)'

Bill Murray in 'What About Bob?'
Officer Soby in 'Carnival of Souls (1998)'

Dear Splatterpunk,

My sister is a vegan. I don’t mind this but she insists that anyone she eats with also be a vegan. Let’s say we’re at a restaurant? She’ll throw a fit if I order a hamburger. Last week she actually complained to the family the next booth over because their son was eating a ham sandwich.

I don’t mind her food choices but this trying to control everyone else’s diet is getting too out of control. What should I do?

Signed,

Guilty Carnivore

Dear Guilty,

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said the word ‘control’. It’s wonderful when people want to be healthier. And it’s noble when people decide they can’t eat another living creature. But in your sister’s case, dictating to others is about controlling them.

I would suggest being stern with her and simply explain that her choices are hers alone. We are individuals and you still enjoy meat. Or you can make a rule across the board that you just don’t eat with her. There are many other things you can share but lunch or dinner is not on the list.

And as you may know, chloroform knocks people right out. Try that. Then as she comes to, you can stick her fingers in a vegetable chopper and say “You think plants aren’t living things? Do you hear that, Clarisse? The screaming of lentils!”

Hope this helps. Have a nice day!

Splatterpunk