Pick your poison 
Find your refrain 
The whole world 
Is going down the drain.

What?  You think it ain't? 
Can't you smell that taint? 
The air so foul, it reeks 
Of masses running for weeks.

Give it but a simple matter of time 
Random witlessness and chatter 
Sporadic order and chaotic rhyme 
Meaningless drivel, lifeless splatter!

So, it's the end of the world, as you knew it anyways; and what do you have to show for it?  Success?  Wealth?  Power?  Prestige?  A place in the world unsoiled by doubt or fear?  An ability to maintain stability, sanity, or surety in a maelstrom of upheavals and mayhem?  Confidence in your own future and the cognizance of the facts surrounding your history and the wherewithal to achieve placement in the grander scheme of existence?

Or is it a pile of poop?  Is that all that you can claim for this point?

Well, listen up.  If you're not already aware of it (and I don't know why you wouldn't be, especially as you're currently here reading what I've written), the Apocalypse is coming.  The zombies are just waiting, itching to get out into the light of day, the dark of night.  It's true; they spend all their time just reciting all of their zombie poetry, their zombie songs, chants and childlike memory components.

As with all things apocalyptic, they are already waiting for you.  For you and everybody else.  But, I'm going to let you in on some inside scoop, 'cause I want some of you to survive; for a little bit at least.

Here's the key to survival:  Friends, trust, faith in one's self.

If you want to at least make it longer than the opening act of the big Zombie Apocalypse, you have got to become more human.  This will be difficult for some, impossible for most.  To surrender yourself to the needs of the group, as opposed to the natural tendency of Mankind towards self centric mentality and programming.  It will be difficult for groups to even form, let alone survive.  You, if you want to survive, are going to need to either form or join a group of other like-minded individuals who wish to survive.  You will have to pool your resources, your skill sets, your drive to survive. 

Our Zombie Zcientists predict that during the initial onslaught, 80% of the human animal will essentially extricate itself from the world of the living.  That's pretty darn big numbers, all things considered.  However, the remaining 20% ain't going to have an easy time of it, either.  Unh unh.  Small bands of people will tend to flock together, and for a small space of time, they will be able grasp those feeble straws to stick it out just that much longer; but, we all know the outcome there.  Internal bickering, backstabbing, jealous rage, self righteous indignation, all the "natural" elements of good old Human nature will no doubt eat up all remnants of tangible survivability.

The only real measure of survivability will be that group that can manage to sway the entirety of its members to rally along the single goal, the single drive, the single force of being just to survive.  Again, our Zombie Zcientists predict that there is less than a 4% probability of the gestation of such a group.  If such a group were to appear and grow within the opening act of the onslaught, there might be a chance for Humanity, but, our Zcientists do not think that to be likely, hence, we are not planning for such an eventuality.

So, there you go.  The most important tip for survival in the oncoming zombie apocalypse.  Did you get it all?  Did it sink in?  Do you think you've got what it takes to survive the "Hell on Earth" that we've been cooking up?  Well, I guess we'll soon see, now won't we?


Spill your putrid filth 
Across a landscape ruined 
Spread the infection  
Throughout the lands.


No escape from the Apocalypse 
Ending the world for good or ill 
We're just the architects of destruction 
The shambling dead's reproduction.


If you think we're playing a game here 
Just come on over and ask us how and where 
The end, inevitable as you know it will be 
Just as much, Zombie Zak surely said so!